Valentines Special. :)

Dancing slowly in an empty room.

Happy V-Day! :D I hope everyone is happy today. (: I know I am. 

The day started moody for me, but in the end I was super happy cause I received a rose from Yusri. ♥♥  I was so happy that he gave me the rose. heh. I came to point during school time, that I think I'm starting to like my class.  With all the jokes and pranks. I know I look forward everyday 

After school, went to the dance room for a mini discussion on tomorrow's plan and then had dance practice till 5. Tomorrow will be Total Defence Day! :D Tomorrow there's Science test and I haven't even touched a single chapter. Oh well. Well, I'll update tomorrow (: Bye. :D 

"Where there once was love, now there's only me. " 

Lose Yourself.

Hello Thursday! :)
yay. It's Thursday almost to the weekends.  So yesterday, had dance until 6 and then me and Adriana went to Bukit Batok to pass a customer's item. And then her mum came to pick us up and she drove me home. After that, I went into my room, lay on the bed and I was gone. I slept for about 4 hours. I woke up at 1am. HAH. Nice job Reen. Today, woke up at 6am and then chiong get ready and took 240. and I saw MARK.  omg. First period was Math. Suckish MATH. Woah, Math teacher ah. Like that only want investigate sia. JUST BECAUSE OF A DUSTER?! Hais.  after that is P.E had to do 2.4 :( TIRED! I failed. HAHAHA. nevermind, first try. Still got more to go. (: then Recess, Bee Wan lesson, Josephine then History. Got test. Hopefully I'll pass. :) head to cybercafe after History and saw Byron...... HAIYA.  oh well. then had dance.  :)

I don't think I like you anymore. I used to adore you so much. But now, I'm disappointed in myself cause I feel like I don't give a damn about you. I'm really scared to lose you. Even if you don't give me that much attention but I still care about you. I think all this was lost because we rarely see each other in school. Remember that, I still care about you. :/

♥Hi 2012. :) 
It's been so long since I updated this blog. :B well, so far so good. Sec 2 life, is not really easy. I almost hate all my teachers. Really. oh well, what to do right? Hmmm. relationship status? Single ftw. :) I'm afraid to get attached again cause I don't want the same fucking mistakes to happen again. Like you know that jerk named Rick who cheated on me and that guy who left me. Yeah, those. Now that they're all moving on, so am I. partially though, I'm trying to build up my strength and courage to talk to my crush. I try to act that I don't have interest in him, but I can't. Cause I know I love him and I can't change anything about it. He's just special in his own ways. :) Dance is pretty good. I got selected in Danceworks 2012 :) competition will be on the 3rd March. Not much time left. ):  So far, I'm happy all the time. :) the things that make me frown is that jerk, my teacher and some other problems. But at the end of the day, I'm still smiling. :) 

Some things are mean't to be kept a secret. 
Relation status between me and Thomas : friends. :)

I'm glad we're not fighting anymore. It's hard to not to talk someone who actually gives you the reason to smile at the end of the day :) It's good that we're still calling each other at night. :] please 2012, please be a good year. Oh yea, sec 2 camp is coming on 29 Feb. I'm not ready. ): I don't want to go. :/ I really don't like camps. so dirty, so yuck. I'm the type of person who DON'T like dirty places. compulsory to go. ): hais. nevermind, let's see my mood. :)  so many of my beloved seniors graduating this  year. ): all the awesome ones :'( like, Kevin, Wee Suan, Byron, Joyce, Jason, Manto, Amalina and others. PLEASE DON'T GO. :( I will seriously cry. Especially Wee Suan and Kevin. :/ they're my dance members. I'll miss them loads. :( please, don't go.  

 ♥
Have you ever felt like breaking down in front of your friends, people, strangers? 

Well, basically I fought with Thomas the other time. It was really brutal. I didn't know what to expect. That they guy I cared and I called my 'Bestfriend' is actually, becoming a stranger to me. :/ Today, I went to Orchard with my Sabrina and Adriana. around 5 plus, we went to JP to relax at Starbucks. and the most hurtful incident is, Thomas was going down the escalator and I was going up. We made eye contact and he was with a girl. I almost broke down. Literally.

Do you know the feeling when you have eye contact with someone you fought with? and you know their gonna hate you. but still, you see them and your heart races and tears welled up. I really was scared to even go home. He lives around me. And my heart beats faster every single time that I remember that incident. 

I really couldn't bear the pain. I almost cried in the bus. 

I may seem a happy girl all the time. Putting up smiles on people's faces. Couldn't care less about my own problems. I seem to care about others more than myself. I want to be happy. I want no problems in my life. Right now, it's hard for me to cry instantly. But a person have to really hurt me physically or emotionally to make me cry again. I WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN. please God. I beg you. 

"and a silence, voice is numb. Try to scream out my lungs but, it makes this harder

as the tear stream down my face. If we could only have this time for one more day.

If we could only turn back time."

♥


okay soo. I'm back to blogging for today. I kinda love my dance family now, since we are getting closer to each other. :) only that, next year would be some of the senior's last year. like Kevin,Raymond,Wee Suan, Joyce. ): anyway, some people just don't get the meaning of cursing and karma. I did not curse you or whatever shit. It's called karma. get that screwed in your brain. even if you go to jail or not, that's what you get really. karma's giving a slap on your face to warn you.  You just want her cause she has big boobs. lol, I hope you can suck on it as much as you want. asshole. 

no time to be angry at this kinda of people just a waste of your time actually talking to them. 

2012 is around the corner. it's a good sign, I guess. I just don't want to go to school. that's it. same shit different day. same people, same shit. things I'm excited about to see next year is my friends, Shee Kiong, seniors and at least new principals. I hate it when you're just making friends with seniors. having heart2heart talks, laughing together and then you realize they're graduating next year. ): today's plans is to meet Adriana and Alvin @ JP and then go Dhoby Ghaut. :) I want to go to the #proudthundies gathering next Tuesday. ): hmmmm, see first. ^^ oh yea, today kinda stayed up talking to Thomas on the phone. and then I fell asleep. and woke up again due to his calls at 4am. alright then, I think I should take a power nap. just in case I don't get panda eyes. :) alrighty, bye.

I hope you read this. 
FIRSTLY. fuck you.  for lying. for leaving me. look, dude, what the fuck is a relationship when you said 'yes' just cause you don't want to hurt her feelings. Okay fine, I get it. She'll be emo ,die, commit suicide or whatever shit. Fine. but at least tell me. Don't wait until I find out. you know what's wrong with you? You're not daring enough to tell the truth. be it hurting their feelings. now look who's suffering. I learned to give away something to someone who needs it more. well cause maybe I'm nice. HAHAHA. fuck you. no. It's cause I want to see how much you regret doing it. you said after you had the 'break-up' with me, you can't concentrate, can't see can't breathe. might as well don't live. DUDE. THAT'S FUCKING KARMA GIVING YOU HINTS THAT IT'S GONNA HIT YOU. Karma is a bitch. we all know that. but she's double the bitch when she knows you play with my feelings.


Now, YOUR GIRLFRIEND. last long. and what the hell? "Last long.." WHO THE FUCK SHOULD I LAST LONG WITH? OH! the guy at my profile pic? HAHAHAHAHAH. DUDE. HE'S JUST A PERFORMER. get your facts right. and car accident? wow, karma hit you hard. well, that's what you get for lying. no, I can't wait forever for nothing to EVER happen. your girlfriend won't give up cause she loves with her "heart and soul.." OH, WHAT A CUTE COUPLE. GET MARRIED! HAVE BABIES! DIE TOGETHER! WOOPTY FUCKING DOO. INVITE ME, SO I CAN SEE YOU SAY "I DO" AND CRASH YOUR AFTERPARTY. AFTER THAT, I'LL DJ AT BOTH OF YOUR FUNERALS. cause that's what you get for lying. "move on or wait.."


OH BROTHER. MOVE ON,MOVE ON, MOVE ON. IS THAT ALL YOU KNOW? AT LEAST FUCKING FORGIVE ME OR SOME SHIT? FUCKING CALL ME AND CRY ON THE PHONE AND SAY SOMETHING? IS "SORRY" SUCH A HARD WORD? IS "APOLOGIZE" DIFFICULT TO PRONOUNCE? 


oh and Thomas? "you have your boyfriend.." BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND! FUCK YOU, HE'S MY BESTFRIEND. who the hell wants to be with me?! I CALLED HIM THE OTHER NIGHT, WISHING HE'D CALL ME SO THAT I CAN CRY THIS OUT AND TELL HIM ABOUT WHAT HAPPEN BETWEEN ME AND YOU. HOW YOU FUCKING LIED THROUGH EVERY SINGLE SHIT WE HAD TOGETHER. WHO ELSE WOULD BE THERE IF IT WASN'T YOU? WHO? YOU LOOK SO INNOCENT. BUT DEEP DOWN YOU'RE JUST ONE MOTHERFUCKING LIAR.


" my world is with darkness.." OH WHATEVER. DARKNESS. BRIGHTNESS. YOU DON'T HAVE MOOD LIGHTS IN YOUR LIFE Y'KNOW. I DON'T CARE HOW YOU SLIT YOUR HAND. CUT YOURSELF. TOOK DRUGS OR WHATEVER. CAUSE I THINK YOU DESERVE ALL THE FUCKING PAIN YOU NEED.  

I hope you and your girlfriend last long long long!

I hope you make chinese mix malay babies! 

I hope you get married! grow old together!

then die.

SCREW YOU BOTH. 

HAVE FUN.

 Fuck everything. Fuck you. Fuck her. Fuck everyone. I don't like it when somebody just uses me. I hope you die in toxic waste. Asshole.
I wish Thomas was here. :( He went to work. :/ I just want someone who can listen to me cry and comfort me. Everything is so wrong. I feel so useless at this point. Thomas is the only guy who can listen to me and comfort me and tell me everything will be 'fine'. And I trust him :/ Some people needs to think about other people. And maybe try to LEARN not to play with a girl's feelings. You made me lose faith and trust in you. And you're the first guy. Last long with her though. Get married and have really nice babies with the same attitude as yours. I would be VERY happy.. to come to your funeral. SO YEAH, get lost and screw you and your life.